"We have money."
"We have money."
"We have money."
Always thought by this time in my life I'd be a film-maker. Distinguished career bio. Not only that of course - wanted to be a major poet, playwright and novelist as well. Hmm three out of four? not too shabby. But it's film these folks are pitching, maybe it's time to make even that dream come true.
"Cinema verite? jiggle in the camera and the ladies' blouses heh heh heh!"
"Animation? rotoscope, frame by frame cel?"
"3-D? So many great pictures to smack 'em in the face with!"
Tried to write a novel about a film-maker once. Gave him a distinguished filmography, purely invented. Dogs among the masterpieces but still! Genius with no skills at life. Ended badly. Wish fulfillment I suppose.
"This is a dream project - literally."
"Camera inside the head of a dreamer's the trick!"
"Lightweight equipment have to be."
"Wonders with microchips these days."
"Nanochips at least you're talking in this case."
"Nightmare to edit once you blew it up life size."
"Blow it up like one of those dolls eh?"
Book had a title I really liked if only I'd ever finished the book to go with it: Available Light. Another book, maybe two, used that title since. Can't copyright a title and even if you could I didn't so I couldn't really sue - besides which they were novelists. What kind of money could you winkle out of them? Bob Fosse I might have sued for stealing my idea if a) my film-maker hadn't been French b) Fosse hadn't so obviously been stealing from his own life c) the film had actually made significant money. Amazing how it all keeps coming down to that.
"We're talking Sundance or even Slamdance more than Cannes."
"Maybe not even. Midnight Circuit."
"Cult status. You ok with a weeny budget?"
"Got to be some tax credits we can tap in to."
"Why not Cannes? They still have an arthouse component."
"Charge too much for the foam on their cappucinos."
"Should be a shoe in at TIFF, you're a local boy."
"Cronenberg. . . Egoyan. . . I'm brainstorming here."
"Anything Jodorowsky did ever make any money?"
"Black Moon sure didn't, that's one of our boy's faves."
"Didn't that one have kind of a story line?"
"I'm bettin' this one could be a sleeper hit."
Time Trial (1978)
The Crucifixion Hour (1980)
Solitary Vices (1982)
Please May I Live (1983)
WorldMind (1985)
Tell Your Secrets (1987)
The Locked Room (1988) [This was adapted from a novel in the Martin Beck series by Maj Sjowal-Per Wahloo. Transposition of the story from Sweden to Canada worked rather well. Subtle opening out of the frame]
The Body in the Bag (1989)
Echo Chamber (1990)
Beggar's Banquet (1991/92)
Elimination Dance (1992)
A Woman for Gold (1994) [loosely adapted from Balzac's Eugenie Grandet.]
A Woman in Oil (1995)
Father's Day (1997)
inch foot time gem (1997) [experimental short]
Dream Dream Dream (1998)
The Subway's a Killer (1999)
Live, from Athens (2001) [8 hour cable tiv miniseries]
Mind Made Syllables (2002)
Firewatcher's Wages (2003) [there may have been other Greek/Canadian co-productions, but another in which the entire movie was filmed twice, in English as I wrote it and in a Greek translation of my text? Happy days! ouzo, drowsy olive and lemon groves, Island of Mykonos a dazzling jewel in the wine dark Meditteranean]
Empty Bowl (2006) [12 hour cable miniseries]
Millennium Bar and Grill (2008)
With a Bullet (2010?) [still working on casting and funding]
Impressive set of films, particularly if they existed somewhere in the world outside these pages.
"We had money."
"We had money."
"We had MONEYYY!!!! (Sorry, always had a thing for George C. Scott.)"
"Where's it gone to?"
"Where is it hiding?"
"Look in our hedge funds."
"Look in our subprimes."
"Look in our deferred options."
"Look in our preferred stocks."
"Bonds."
"Mutual funds."
"Look in Madoff's offshores."
"Wouldn't you like the number of those accounts?"
"Gilt-edged securities?"
"Tin plate underneath!"
"Bottom grade tin."
"Hi-Risk Hi-Return?"
"Max Risk Zip Return more like it!"
"Spirit of independent capital."
"So independent it flew every coop known to man."
"Look in our tradeable futures."
"NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!"
"Sorry kid, I'm out a the biddin' - got a date with a loaded revolver."
"Cyanide for me I think. No fuss, no muss, no mess to clean up after."
"Me I'll see if I can ride it out, these universal collapses usually blow over eventually. We'll talk again when that happens kid, you know what this business is like - next year country."
The faucet in the Second Cup washroom has a blue water drop or teardrop logo on the right lever, ditto but red on the left one. Turn the right lever and sure enough - blue water streams out the spigot. Off now, red one on: gurgling red cascades into the bowl of the sink. Turn the right lever slightly: now the flow is violet. Adjust either way, you can get everything from mauve to lavender to deepest purple. That's what a movie's made up of: sharp illustrative pictures, straightforward mysteries that eye, brain and viscera simultaneously absorb. Where could you make use of a detail like that? Where would you put the camera for maximum effect? How would it colour the scene? Hmm. . .
FIN
