If I were you I'd replace
the pepperoni with bacon
the hay with bluegrass
the stormclouds with a good novel
If I were you I'd replace
the king's edict with a bull
Cerberus with a glass of milk
the fitting room with a speakeasy
If I were you I'd replace
the dinner theatre with a UFO
the elevator with Neil Diamond
the rat poison with methedrine
If I were you I'd replace the ring with an eye
If I were you I'd replace
the green tiel with floral wallpaper
the small plates with plasticware
holy with cherry
But then if I were you
we'd probably have ordered
from a different pizza place
