(a)
20/20 Vision. Oh, if only. Zoom in on the screen, print this out in a big enough font to read.
(b)
2020. The Caesura Year. Nothing's been the same since.
Can put that dishonour on any year, your honour. Cough, atishoo!
(c)
Payment will be taken on the 20th. To speak to our chatbot, press two zero. Have your donor card ready.
(d)
Back in my twenties, I made a good start at reading world literary classics. Nowadays, it's all chapbooks and ezines.
(e)
The Department for Employment finally forces you to find work. You're overqualified and underpaid. But, crucially, off the jobless statistics.
(f)
The Nostradamus Post-Nuke Calendar: 20 Days hath Fifthtember. All the rest have 21, excepting Wintermonth alone, which goes on forever.
(g)
"Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty." No, I'm too old for "O Mistress Mine", strike it from the repertoire.
(h)
You work in a butcher's, white-overalled, spending all day cleaning blood off the counter and wondering whether animals have souls.
(i)
The Great Gatsby, Middlemarch, The Trial, 1984, Gulliver's Travels, Frankenstein, Beowulf, King Lear. Good start. Still time to add some.
(j)
Ten Word story template: Decent title, set up, pivot, resolution?
Killer snowmen. With legs. Wreak havoc. Foiled by global warming.
(k)
Covid lockdown exercises. Build biceps lifting cans of tomatoes. Until stocks run out. Then it's empty toilet rolls. Lightweight. Atrophy.
(l)
The problem with democracy has always been that often the other guy wins. Nothing was stolen that day, you tangerine.
(m)
Promised three score years and ten. Gary, Nick, Clint and Mark - who died in 2023 - didn't make it that far.
(n)
The machine-completed arithmetic on my E.ON electricity bill was incorrect. I checked. Phoned. Complained. There must have been other customers.
(o)
20 x 20 makes 400. That's CD in Roman numerals. Compact discs are struggling as bald blokes return to vinyl.
(p)
Credit card?
No.
Cash?
No.
Google Pay?
No.
We don't trust Non-Fungi tokens. Put your items back on the shelf.
(q)
The park football match is interrupted by a lockdown-acquired dog. Words, gestures, threats. XL Bully. No soul. Bred that way.
(r)
The British 20p coin is an equilateral curve heptagon. It might not buy much but it's real money, not bitcoin.
(s)
Is your company trustworthy? Aviva, BP, BT, E.ON, Evri that was Hermes, GB News, Meta, Tesla, X that was Twitter.
(t)
That when tea became ubiquitous in United Kingdom parlours.
Pat went yesterday
Every bit went yellow
Sat we 'n Tyburn.
