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The reader's ass will be pimped out to those who have better interpretations of this, be warned.

Enough upon a time you might be able to dodge the kaleidoscope of body parts if you don't end up joining the scraps of mankind's mind eternally hurtling through time better than abstinence the worst drug ever next to sex with mom and dad there's nothing like an adrenaline drink at a death bar with a lunch lady who takes you back to her place for some muffugnugen in her fart locker what a daymare don't be in a hairy hurry to get all of this on tour the cancerous body parts of celebrities in an art exhibit tomorrow it was deja shit the ride at dawn with a pharaoh's head hanging from the rear view arm sticking out of the trunk yesterday we will go see the Miss Prisoner of War Handicap Beauty Pageant my vote goes for blind Miss North Carolina for her water boarding talent because she dresses like a slut for world peace afterward there is cuckold exorcisms live at the Last Church of Phony Alimony starring the Bride of the Burro never let her donkey see the hand prints on her ass or he'll kick her teeth in hurt her career as the human pony bitch of the rodeo with a monkey on her hatchback ass and two kitty titties the clowns take turns slapping her around calling her fish pie the bruises they leave read her phone number this is the most ridiculous literary invention lost in translation since the rhyme rime crime and for punishment the pretty little scholars are going to hell to rot with the other intellectuals this country will not tolerate subversive fagots only clean filth will flourish here we have to keep them wanting more relief of an orgasm isn't good for the economy only cock teases and a little felanalingus will do everyone's dick is a dreamer of breast implants scrambled for breakfast a chain-smoking ferret playing accordion in a bathhouse on an island of imposters and flying altar boys senile babies go out in goo-goo-ga-ga style in a world where melody is overrated and tinnitus never gets the dance we won't rise none of us we all will sink spicy semen toe shot chased with sublime dancing altogether in masquerade masturbation here in the ocean you can put your ear to a pillow shell and here your guardian angel pacing impatiently on your shoulder delicate as an unnoticed spider web founded on a body in a coma blessed are the mooks whose false sense of security from killers too gradual unseen with the naked eye motivates them to whore their lives away the American way sell your soul to save your ass vice versa the idea is as erotic a mermaid in a sewer that is really a manatee hooker released from the burn ward on closer inspection sloppy Joe Ocean makes love in slow yo yo motion and plays the sexy phone with some sensual rape on the beach so come jerk at Jo's futility is trying to breathe life into something slowly dying you have no emotional attachment to true tyrannosaurus in sheep's clothing going through a dog door for the poor running late for the tombs of flogging crocodile underwear divorced now possessed cutting the family in half with eunuchs whore hounds in bed covered in police tape the mosquitoes eat human immunodeficiency virus for scantily-clad breakfast never looking at the menu first saying it's a beautiful new clear day hopefully not the last saliva of the fittest you never really know what's behind someone's poodle volcano larvae blows their load all over the city when there is no virgin sacrifice jumping into its mouth the end of the rainbow is the beginning of the underground leprechaun railroad transvestite tap-dancing on black face fetuses in heaven's minstrel show doorknobs as genitals be a good blind nigger boy and light that dollar-sign cross with a snake nailed to it why does aspiring roadkill cross the road to intersect with speeding death riding a pale stretch limo accidentally eating two pounds of bugs a year necklace made from vaginae my favorite Saigon whores last words were always please I love you Yankee dog hindsight is sometimes obscured by a body stuck to your driver side mirror flailing in the wind kill the Christ killers before they stop us from killing forsake complacent happiness for brilliant madness survive love to evolve beyond this prison called being human massaging your skin with fiberglass Christian mythology will be debated eons from now the fossils of popes will reveal them as ventriloquist dummies for the holy ghost along with their insect priests inseminating rodent nuns roaches fucking rats in a holy trash can mother Mary should have taken the immaculate contraceptive after being soul raped by god who cuckolded Joseph convinced him to raise the holy little bastard carrying his own cross fixated the slacker son of god the carpenter cult leader finally got off his ass and moved out to the big upstairs disappointed was everyone when he came back three days later worship assassinated presidents by wearing guns around our necks swimming through a capsized ship hear the sound of fish eating dead flesh every drunk driver is an abstract artist creating in the moment their vehicle is the brush passengers are the paint colliding object is the canvas If two drunk drivers are colliding then it is collaborative effort a canary in a coalmine is worth two black lungs Imminent death earlier is likely if you are marked by tattoo ink west of death is boredom to the east is obligation north is obscurity and south lies eternity aim your end in dead center necessary evil is the mother of blessings in disguise teaching us to gauge appreciation against spoil pressures of society are worse than the bends imagine a method of murder from instantaneous full body exposure to cancer via a laced drink accepted from an enemy Alzheimer's disease is retiring wisdom reverting to the womb a sage who stops being aware they know less less the older they get a dream for a dream makes the whole world sigh the good old days are down for the count debutantes and heiresses all lined up on the beach asses in the air soaking up cancerous vitamins from the sun until their charred tans crack blister leaving behind attractive corpses for the tide to sweep away politician in a sex scandal with alien mistress polite snakes opening doors for old ladies stigmata mobiles racing to the holy land serving god is not a curse said no teacher ever art of dying is an everyday hero airborne toxic human remains skulls ribs femurs jaws fingers ripped from their graves broken scattered by bulldozers backhoes why grab a cold one when you can grab a frozen family don't be a zombie follow the path of talking dogs like marriage only with bullets the beast is in heat down the predator zip line so put your ear here to learn the secret to save your life give up daily wishes searching for sugar one of the conditions of parole paying tribute the scream that crawls up the wall is betrayed by its shadow idle banter around the jerk hut more gore than before since the food supply is now being controlled by corporations who want more quiet from the fright mask faces preaching the number of the best 666 the feds see no evil in ancient burial grounds or the earth being burned up but Santa's claws bare knuckle boxing is cause for concern come one come all and delve into darkness rattle banned she bones swallow robot pills at the demons we do the work for you and remember right is might take the scars on stars tour see the haunted farm where terror is a man unspeakable crime death becomes patenting living organisms my skin is getting thinner due to shadow play at the tanning dome worksite raids leave frankencrops in charge of the buffet line mutual contact with home wreckers readying a revolution hindered by memory loss savings without the sacrifice Hispanic hunting works with fresh leads suicide wings kills his dream surrounded by thieves no choking the morality cop during dead sex please that's Saturday night condoms toilet paper delivered to your doorstep in the middle of the night by kung fu vampires who have the best gun prices in town not including wicked spirits bomber with a 69 lb. vagina indicted sentenced to make black keys for pink pianos whose body is pointing fingers around corners suppressed transmissions colonize Mars evidence against individuality pubic pap smears of celebrities obsessiveness without personality the next that walks past will be dead very soon you will quit following trauma sex bones dragging creation honorable error disgusting withdrawal repetitive chaos children playing without a care same ground where someone was murdered sex with someone in the middle of an epileptic seizure globalization please god more famous last words of serial killer before lethal injection not sure where your future is headed skewered Martha mystery of the drug mummies nicotine rituals satanic family affairs feel great if you want to live longer using Adolf Hitler postage stamps turn the page if you dare the cutting edge of guilt free fashion swearing at children possessed by truly vile spirits sons of evil foul worm larvae on board smile AIDS is not just a white mans disease like racism read your name in the obituaries it is spelled wrong raving loon gas mask family portraits 1938 psychic devices mind machines top quality affordable subliminal tape units electronic candle pyramids for astral travel beneath the yellow hurty thing on vampire holidays when you are craving chicken do the waggle dance like walking void insects reading cupids capers caught in prostitution scandal ok we are guilty wolf wash Jesus gets revenge this summer the knee bone is connected to the leg bone is connected to Jesus all the saints holy bones fast food no longer makes you fat order the brazen bull slowly cooked with occupants alive inside support sweatshops are you losing your mojo married today schizophrenia can tear patients apart thousands of satisfied corn hole tour tickets on sale with free head crushers anybody here seen Kelly misery loves comedy you dick he wanted to break her neck more you flush more you save anyone who is nice to you dislike step dad unlock a fresh new perspective suck seed nice to meat you public urinating sober living it is habit forming at the house of the devil not very pretty lighter side of torture gods government that gulping sound coming from your yard be still know I am god pain with sexually transmitted diseases are sexy thanks for stealing our will why they spawn only at twilight sluts feeling of Christ welcoming his coming screening 8 pm how to make love like a porn star forbidden knowledge insider fruit machine tricks strange substances encryption concealing new identities reanimated the gospel is not for puppets bring coupons in for saints on sale in bits pieces what is so funny about being Jewish this is not in the TV guide anywhere do not panic never letting the facts get in the way of a good story with god all things are possible wars famines pestilences earthquakes revolutions thousands die more than 30 bombs throughout the city if you love it clone it with a home pickling kit crows in mason jars horror it is like life you better be good not easy getting in here next Walt Disney make better soldier man up eat your testicles ultimate stripper cage fighting doctor in your bathroom because speed matters I am sending you a pair of black kids fast cash fog of dementia ear chopper I quit class clown likes young boys and not nosy cops things just taste better out of a skull bionic eyes for the blind receive a free surprise gift with every order the war against the unborn women impregnated by rapists make the best of a bad situation fixed income liability child painted tax death race you have stopped blinking and farting I buckled the cadaver up to comply with motor laws self styled son of Jesus justifies killing rampage movie of the year mud fire beer tranny granny trying to kick heroin commit yourself to the institute poon makes you stupid vampire facelifts confirm rodents laugh when tickled abra cadaver salmonellos grandpa has a nasty surprise for the little girls at play we are America's natural gas cultural terror it is not a dream we promise chronic diarrhea bucket of blood with a hammer is quite liberating evil profits of doom for god and petrol iron maiden pay in blood for America alien objects of desire how to make the most of a flying saucer experience we got you covered for the apocalypse prone to panic can't all be superstars like puppies sunshine not being shot in the face in massacres crave drugs use them compulsively the players are unsure what is the game what is reality making them excited paranoid we want the world breast disasters just you watch hanging cage warped perspectives studies show negative people are better off hypnosis show it's amazing a hostile makeover mind altering terror the sunshine salesman family rituals hate tree father who was robbed by his loving daughter turned addicts nearly severed middle finger best naked meth head lunar land for sale special gift just for you cocaine anonymous kiddy porn clashing plaids washing your pet peeve satanic messages from TV theme songs sexy beast the falling dollar delusional crybaby convict lust drunk naked carjacking spree American parasite fear they neighbor hell bound budget cut does the sight of blood make you faint victim remember me for what I was not what I am now you losing interest in sadomasochistic flea market voted best late night hand jobs phallus juggling genital daredevils why did suffering start get the world's most dangerous book why are the some of the pages stuck together incarcerated lonely we serve madness incarnate sleep your way slim antique sugar mom for ecstasy this will be our little secret creationism candid moments happy days are here again new york city ground zero for the apocalypse people ate flesh for survival revenge or power brain fog flesh hook man bites head off girlfriend's gerbil walking in the night soothing sounds sophisticated savage keep calm carry on just to be alive is a grand thing increased belly fat experiencing more fatigue losing muscle mass getting tired earlier in the day decreasing libido aging quickly say anal probe dead babysitter murder cover up for the wages of sin is death but look see the monsters play havoc with the world corporations Elvis is still in the building who says you don't have the power to change seize the day snake seizes the rat you are an eternal soul dead in trespasses and in sins on your way to hell since almost all our cells are replaceable living forever is feasible hump night real hook ups real fast trust me I am a scientist now this is true love matter under your fingernails spent billions of years exiled in space before coming to rest on our planet extrasensory dirty ghosts see all the porn you watch I am the bomb round zero lacking decimals cabin massacre hunter gatherers big daddy gets wet living right in a world gone wrong once in there is no way out will you survive the apocalypse observe intently the birds of heaven beer it does a body good monster hunt shredded letters tapped wires FBI ears daddy's girl married him bestiality amateur porn rough cop sex intimate piercings sex bones you can trust me everyone at the party has dead beautiful people chemical fun house strange creatures cameras in fingertips powers from above tell he is picking his nose bad mortician stuffing stiffs thanksgiving turkey bad crime photographer says make love to the camera cereal killer moms smiles for bile where do you see yourself headed to hell those left on earth terrible judgment punishment call heaven's best lines are open 24 hours a day feed your faith doubt will starve to death failure rate may be 90 percent machine in a bikini suave debonaire fraction stupid hip to be dead defy pain defy aging defy fatigue guns do not kill people like living in denial we all make salsa out of anything cozy up next to the fire valentine kink get ready for some real body heat premature ejaculation the maniac in me trendy vampires hippie grandfathers in California 45 percent pure blood everywhere sold sleep all day run party all night chain mail placenta encapsulation when is self defense justified god hates violence as a thief in the night in such an hour in the twinkling of an eye hitting you where it hurts the happy hooker says pay for sex be a love artist Americanize crave flesh with a hunger what if you are already dead gravity was an accident after our foot wings defeated our purpose as nutritious dinosaur fodder living fossils clothing optional bound to give you the creeps not getting any doll heads for your sexual pleasure feels like the real thing accept the faith of others if they accept your lack of praise the lord pass the ammo god of carnage violence is coming everyone wants to kill better than a war the prized oven in a crematorium support undertakers drop dead welcome to your new nightmare phantom limbs fighting crime radioactive today tomorrow controlled by your electronic devices that are about to be obsolete looking for a hot maid to clean your place give in to your wildest fantasies sexism shock the junkie late night munchies many people want to go to heaven no one wants to die to get there Venus vs Mars in the age of androgyny meet real women tonight a scalded cat from cold water runs you can stop going to the dentist your teeth have rotted out oral fixation this is not part of the puppet show back away slow love animals drugging burning blinding infecting shocking addicting shooting freezing surgically mutilating them danger farting zone when you are poor every act becomes an economic transaction all suffering soon to end the main issue sovereignty alien oil candle in my heaven everyone owns a gun blood maniacs from beauty queen to bondage queen savage love wanting black eyes bloody lips coping with dead bodies seeing ghosts kill 668 cougars a haven for both the hunter and the hunted bad kids always go to hell a fistful of brain matter terror like you have never known evicted packs tearing into neighborhood cats horrible little people murder by death the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train follow that bird still angry still American help yourself thrill kill never mind the sex with habitual sleepwalkers what does he have that you don't pleasure erection just the right amount of wrong the sex secret of 80 year old polygamous rainforest men questions for the butcher meet the six titted wonder of the world imagine nothing to hide feces pieces sex tips from morticians thousands of live goats and pigs are shot stabbed dismembered burned monkeys are poisoned every year in department of defense training exercises the new pornographers are the pimps of happy time bible truth sets people free from superstitious fear of the dead what persuaded the male hominid to stay after mating being open minded enough to let me finger your brain phallic balloon animals birthday suicide free streak broken the meek inherit nothing seeking Armageddon do not settle for less when you get the most congratulations first holy molestation break through your wall of woes new beginning is easy good little cult member drink the punch laced with cyanide keep shooting drugs in Vegas no guts no glory hole hello sailor he tested chemical weapons on his pets and tried to turn them into suicide bombers bukkake car wash trusted by over a million customers we do child sex trafficking can I get brains with that ancient Chinese invented fireworks to scare off giant mountain men go ahead ask doctor dick about mutant taxidermy sexy octopus wrestling eyeball stunts anal warts vulva meatloaf plant sex made easy happy ending corpse massage between human and machine I could be you if I wanted to be easy prey sex in a bottle the loving cult weak fences bad neighbors don't let them in tired of a quick roll in the grave rotting orifices paint the town dead ruthless dominatrix pass the poop impotence for best results place goat on the edge of cliff ghastly beyond belief erectile dysfunction god of small things freedom corpse of the month beach party shoot your dad for free toughest jobs on planet earth late night bloodbath kill fest who knew shooting was sexy I loved shooting all those people need a better job horrible holiday specials man cannot live the president is a fly in the offal office repeatedly hitting the ceiling women are rejecting marriage the loving part is easy the feeding maybe not republicans care about people but only before they are born then they can fuck themselves cannibal run the will of the creator commanding obedience to whatever happens we realize there is just no getting through to some people not the folks we are speaking to anyway this bomb booze hooker is for you saving a life from a catastrophe every 17 minutes one nation under sex homeless dolls your impotence solution has a new design garbage fuckers the important thing is that you worship a glimpse into the heart of American darkness evil junkie as good as you feel feel as good as you look what is my urine telling me yellowish fluid dripping genital rashes guillotine erector set who really rules the world looking for someone to blame could Satan have offered Jesus all these world governments if they were not his from SS officer to servant of the true god Hitler was a great white civil rights leader killing for greasy meals laying in bed with robots hang themselves with computer cords satellites fall huts made of wire and cable I nearly got killed orgasm or bust graveyard mounds were humans intended to go to heaven probed positions devices who is your evil queen twisted tootsies are these reality shows for real how long have you been wearing these panties a kaleidoscope at the end of the tunnel how to live forever results may vary, hope for surviving a nerve gas attack I am as happy as a puppy with a new toy everything is finally where it is supposed to be anger hunger girl's body thrown in trash can rigor mortis hazard dead on arrival position 69 it is an enchanting world after all ashamed to be American alien visitors are not our friends they are here to steal water rape our planet school of hate obnoxious display of patriotism I have been drug tested and have a safe driving record nice old but new to you the nail that sticks out gets hammered down the countless times you surrender your will every day serial killer do not fuck with the end serving god is more than church it is giving up your daily wishes to follow his will you might feel crazy but in the end happy to serve the war on meditation guillotine windowsill with a view of the end by the time you are visible you are already dead visceral exhibitionists heroin refund prophetic toilet hemorrhoid baby zombie fisherman suicide grope endangered omelet Texas catheter airline goat headless chicken brain stem witch case finger on the sinner natural born triggers dry back ride a kike native engines spear fucker killing circle communion cavity sodomy junction mind is a rat wheel spinning in a machine gun pointing out of my mouth when it should be aimed in it shit stuck plumbing auger angelic wolf with a sharp tongue on a double edged hook you got your blood on my hands no your hands are in my blood roasted pope on a spit atrophy ballet world falls crying pin the death on the sucker moss pig colossal effigy toxic antidote for a toxin family god melting hero autopsy of a giant wonderful lightning splits the terrible tranquility of a solitary balloon sent to heaven from a child in the middle of a war zone an island away from the outside the liar's share love the whip rats tread lightly through elephant graveyards skin slips off your face un-gloved skull pathetic crutches for pointless people bland fetishes for the mundane barbed wire syringe tip of the fatberg blows the manholes open in a vacuum mistake faith in paper value junkie juice content vacant keep your poker face in the torture room slice the moon's eye a piece of ghoul pie smell of death like coffee in the next room spontaneous combustible baby black scratches through the cracks eye shot god love feeling like someone sleeping in your grave see the faces in every nook and cranny hidden in walls earth sky tobacco favorite vegetable nicotine whore suit of bees making mock shock the jockey useless meanings hidden in expectation slam it on rye peni colony imploding gimmick of the nature image burn the bones beaver gland smoke between my teeth bumble wrath godzilla raping the statue of liberty eat her ass salad with razorblades my beloved fist fuck geriatric sex cats with pigtails neon lipstick furry fist bushes with working class fetishes creativity is a turn off unless you sleep on a bed of suicidal scorpions stinging their necks stalkers who have geographical pinpoint systems strange bedfellows smoking crystal corpses laced with moisturizer made of fetus minerals bride groom exchange wedding shotguns kill the mothers rape the fathers homicidal honeymoon audacious as a ghost that appears in your home rude host. Now back to our regularly scheduled program, followed by more advertisements and the evening news . . .

LAND OF THE OBSCENE, KINGDOM OF REALISM-

Spartan off, different colors, same flavor; no Greek blue for frozen sister, oh no. Jersey boars caught a train, and started to read the paper. Headlines say "UNDERWATER PROPOSAL DROWNS BRIDE" and "TATTOO DOWNFALL AT FLORIDA STANDOFF." Must be something in the water down there. A dope van with a gaggle of sucklings said they had internal affairs up their cavities, spit through them like a car grave. The granola dike fingers the barbie bomber when asked, "Is this the artist that rendered you?" Glue maggots tickle their melted shoes on the pavement. "Get the gutter vacuum, and bring me my booger straw." Down on the job, a case of desert dehydration, don't bet on the cacti. Better off ringing out your socks over your mouth, that is if they're on your feet. Heatstroke in a sea of light. This Dutch heater sweats like a fat man masturbating to a cookbook at a hunger strike, like you were invited. The birthday boys request the female sausage kissing booth, which got some choice reviews on fuck book. "Watch your tongues boys, be warned that polite compliments are censored in the land of the obscene. These macho poets will bite yours' off as quick as the sissy athletes' they bully." The calcium hardness makes it difficult to floss out here.

Extraterrestrial molesters, mice men and binge dieters abstain, then reincarnate. There are red warnings on every door.

The Bacon Duke strolls up, yells at a public offender, "Drink more mustard, your urine is too clear!" He looks at us sideways. "The lot of you are connected to nowhere, but at least you have none of the cliché dead ends or obstacles in these parts. No sketches or incomplete works allowed in the kingdom of realism." Looking around the crowd, "Any rough draft spies caught will be wadded up and thrown out of the masterpiece! Be grateful if you're not erased by the great artist first! If he ever returns that is. . ." There is no such thing as concrete laws or existing freedom, only the abstractions this place, and every one like it, masochistically imposes on itself. Bittersweet, like a rabid dog between a pair of luscious legs. We take pieces of given chance as instructed by the Duke. "Bless the shingles and all the parasites!" He hoots when we raise our faces from under the cover of our hats. Yes, dog bless this excess, these dancing bones, the will to want (frail of fear). "Go on boys, drink time out vain, near carrion. It's a new day, a new naivete!" History is out of mine here, a sociopath's choices of freedom. I say dispose of the whole area.

Along comes Krinkle, who looks cranky. This piggy dives for pearls. His head chews a memo and a doughnut in a duck hole.

"Pizza is family!" That's his motto. Some copy leaders as a creepy turn to deliver hurt. Might as well kiss the missile on your pepperoni toe, saw the yule pillow and make a sandwich tree-topper. Shining of the time Gully Billy's Pluto crashed into commie, the hydrant talked about hummus Santa all night long. Rubble rats of Pompeii, descending flakes, piranha cures, you name it. We sat down to some suffocate as the Duke turns to Krinkle, "It's a gamble crossing the tracks deaf, dumb and blind. When you're dancing around hate, you never stop to look at a kill." We were enjoying the holiday drain out there on lazy lane, under the flashing 'YES BURN DAY' signs, chewing glass and killing the boss for dessert. The Duke is great at accidents, we cheer and applaud him like apes at a funeral for a forgotten father. But of course, Krinkle, The bourgeois derelict that he is, interrupted the performance with his hip, critical musings like an oxygenated moron. It was all 'religious science this' and 'robotic intelligence that', on and on into 'does art belong in fart?' It was at this time, I came over and gave him a Heimlich stomp. "There's your anti-dollar market for you! You can't even think straight without a wax dart shoot!" the Duke bites teachers, the worst listeners. Bacon before cannibals, Apples for eyeballs.

"You know, the good thing about fast food culture is that the stars explode shortly after they pop. The bad thing is, their interchangeable faces are reincarnated in cycles, because they age too quick. Donate now by calling the number on your screen, and you can make sure a star shines a little bit longer. Remember, the less you know, the more we do about you . . ."

A REMINDER TO THE UNKNOWING PUBLIC-

Artists are terrorists lazy ones and will be treated as such, receiving a fair trial for their crimes of creativity. The snobbier the subversion, the harsher the justifiable punishment. We must not allow a world where everyone can see the art in everything. This constructive anarchy will not stand. The only exception to this will be commercial art, the one and true valuable form that drives advertising and consumerism. Do your part and avert your eyes from this educational pornography and alert the authorities if you find your thoughts provoked. We have nothing to fear, except art itself. So, ask not how art can destroy us, but how we can destroy art. Thank you and goodnight. Coming up next are some products you should buy as a reason to go outside your homes and contribute to social pollution. To the law-abiding and non-creative, badges of ignorance are available through the department of homeland insecurity.