now we are 10 fingers
meaning
I am looking
at my hand[s]
and counting
as if my day
reverted
to an educational
children's show.
but I will not strike the match
to burn this delusion
and so,
for mental gerrymandering's sake
(I choke on 11 and well... every number after)
I count my toes
to tell me
you are here
and there are 10 other digits
to lace with mine
except has anyone
tried lacing fingers with toes?
[delusions] only [go] so far
and the radio spoke directive
at you [which is me], my intentionality
suffering, my body a mace
of helpless vectors
cast invisible
toward nothing like beams
of unsupportive sunlight
and I couldn't stop
from thinking in we,
too much coffee in the pot,
enough to drown a mouse;
so I tried with each spoonful
of cereal to convince myself
10 means me, only me,
just me and not you
but still I cling
to we, knowing I
am ten fingers short
alone
and now, and now, and now
(we) [I] (are) [am] 10
