Monday morning the pastors gather and report the number of people attending each church the past Sunday.  Each audience is scored from one, the largest, to last, and these numbers added across a calendar month.  The pastor with the lowest score wins.  Some complain that size of church building should be taken into account, or that other activities undertaken at church during the week should be factored in -- but the thought is Salvation is simple and absolute and too many factors gum up pious assignment.  Some realize the counts find more churchfolk than townfolk: the mathematical miracle of soul saving.

He keeps the results of abandoned games. He lists the players, the start of play, the moment of abandonment, the unfinished score. It is more difficult when there is only partial abandonment, one or more players leaving while one or more players continue to play. At that point, it is really a new game, isn't it, and the old one has been abandoned. He plots potential outcomes, extending possibilities and reactions, working the score from what it was to what it might be. For all those distracted, frustrated, bereft of time, at their least suspect moment, he will whisper, "Loser."